The ongoing battle of one’s spirit and flesh is a tiresome and draining ordeal. But if we’re truly being honest, as Christians this battle is inevitable.
As believers we face internal and external struggles daily. Life brings challenges and hurdles to the table but things can get even more tricky when what you desire is not in line with God’s will and purpose for you.
God knows our hearts and he’s aware of what our hearts yearn for. This has been highlighted to us throughout the bible. For example Psalms 44:11 says: “for He knows the secrets of the heart”. However, things can become painful when what we yearn for or ask God for is not reflected in what He wants for us. Even if it’s coming from a really good place. I can admit that this has been a major difficulty for me throughout my Christian walk and it’s caused me to become stressed, anxious and feeling unfulfilled as a result. Even though it is extremely difficult, God has given us tools to manage if the outcome doesn’t align to original expectations. But as humans we still find the aftermath of not getting what we wanted hard to comprehend and it can leave our faith in God shaken.
An example of this is when I had an interview for a new job role that I really wanted. Before going in to the interview, I allowed myself time to mentally prepare, revise over my notes and of course, pray. However, only later on I realised that the way in which I prayed was maybe a little bit off. So, I would start my prayer by thanking God for the opportunity but I would also tell God that I have to get the job. I would say to God ‘let your will be done’ but then conclude the prayer with but still I want this job and let your will align with me getting this job.
So before I even entered the interview room I’ve already had a clash with my father. I’ve told him what I wanted, what I expected and how I wanted the outcome to be. I told him to do his will but make sure it matched with my wants and needs. It was all about me. It was all about my flesh.
Low and behold after the interview, I received a phone call a few days later to inform me that I didn’t get the job. I was gutted and I felt tremendously low. I questioned where I went wrong and why did God bring me to the interview if he didn’t want me to get the role in the first place? Was I there to waste time and feel embarrassed? I was heart broken but I realised a few weeks later that it wasn’t in God’s will and it wasn’t aligned to his purpose.
Things like this happen all the time. You believe God can do it but it doesn’t go to plan. God understands this pain but he also understands your purpose and the outcome he wants for your life. Jesus himself felt the same anxiety, nervousness and even fear when he asked God to remove him from suffering the inevitable pain and ordeal that he was about to face, but he also knew God’s will and the purpose he had for humanity. Luke 22:42 says: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
More recently I have learnt to say “God let your will be done” and rejoice no matter if the outcome is not what I expect. I am learning to lean not on my own understanding and to trust God even if I can’t trace exactly what He’s about to do next in my life. So far it has bought me a lot more peace as I am aware that God has greater waiting for me, even if now it appears to be bleak. Sometimes God tries to test and challenge our faith and he honestly wants to see how we can cope in the face of adversity. The book of Job indicates this throughout. Job had everything but lost everything too. Despite this, he never cursed God. He continued to praise and worship him. He did cry out to the Lord in sorrow, yes, but he never said he didn’t love or trust God any more. Even when those around him told him to curse God, he never did.
Though it is tough, it’s important to remember that God is our comforter and also our redeemer. And he wants what is in best interest for you and him. “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
When you face difficulties such as this turn to scripture and turn to God. God wants you to find peace and he’s here to provide it through tough times, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
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